What if one dies in an air-crash, while carrying with him, in mid-air, the ever loving memories of 'someone' he loves...

I would like to quote two examples here.
First of the Indian Airlines Flight Hijack,quite sometime ago,I was too young,so don't remember the details at all...but I do remember one fact...there was a young couple,newly married,and getting back from a much cherished honeymoon...and how,the young and handsome groom was brutally wounded by the terrorists in front of his lady love's eyes. It remains etched on my mind,her face,and the the guy's body,which succumbed to the wounds later.
How she must have lived with those memories,and how he must have relived each moment spent with his new and beautiful love...how he must have gathered her face and its beauty,with deep anguish ,in his own eyes...how he must have lived a thousand centuries in those few moments and loved with a million emotions...the sheer desperation of seeing life slip by...
That memory,is unforgettable...how excruciatingly painful it must have been for those two ,so in love.

The other memory is from my childhood....normally,I take time to answer your query,but today,I just couldn't help but rush to answer this one,cause of one cherished memory of my childhood.
A song,which defined my childhood notion of 'ULTIMATE LOVE'...with the heady image of James Dean....flying in his racing Sports Car,the Rebel Without A Cause,speeding down to meet a young death at 25 or so....and then this song by Ray Peterson....
Somehow,your query would be incomplete without this song featuring in it...so here it is....

Laura and Tommy were lovers
He wanted to give her everything
Flowers, presents and most of all, a wedding ring
He saw a sign for a stock car race
A thousand dollar prize it read
He couldn't get Laura on the phone
So to her mother Tommy said

Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura I may be late
I've something to do, that cannot wait

He drove his car to the racing grounds
He was the youngest driver there
The crowed roared as they started the race
'Round the track they drove at a deadly pace
No one knows what happened that day
How his car overturned in flames
But as they pulled him from the twisted wreck
With his dying breath, they heard him say

Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura not to cry
My love for her will never die

And in the chapel where Laura prays
For Tommy who passed away
It was just for Laura he lived and died
Alone in the chapel she can hear him cry

Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura not to cry
My love for her will never die
Tell Laura I love her.....

The pain...the passion...the desperation....the love....somehow it all gels so well with the agonizing pain of losing a life,where one does carry it all away...along with thousands of dreams....hopes...desires....and memories. 

My Pa is a Doctor,so each time we would get pukish and feel giddy,squeamish,faint,restless and uneasy...and ask Pa to give some medicine to stop the weird feeling and make things alright...he would tell us to bear a little and let the vomit happen...cause he said,it was body's natural cleansing system.
He always told us to suffer that horrible,nauseating feel,so as to let body purge itself and cleanse all the impurities within.
Once the vomits were over and done with...the body used to feel lighter...easy and all drained out.
But the sleep thereafter,and the ease consequently used to be therapeutic for sure.
..............I know,you must be wondering why did I substantiate with such an example...cause a break up feels just like that...queasy,uneasy,disrupting,qualmy,reeling,suffocating,g iddy and one needs to vomit all out...the hurt,the pain,the remorse,the turmoils,the exasperations,the mental agonies,the intrinsic conflicts...one needs to throw them all out of one's system....to purge the heart,the soul,the senses....which suffer hugely so as to combat something as shattering ,shocking and collapsing as a break up.
~To learn to live without the voice.
~To learn not to be with the same presence.
~To accept the vacuum and its hollow resounding emptiness.
~To never see the same number flash on the phones,the same face in life.
~To never utter the same,perpetually on one's lips.
~To not feel the same feel,of one's soothing togetherness.
.....and much more...the mess notwithstanding....beyond the hurt and the humiliation.
Once the purging is done...the body,along with the mind...comes to the rescue of the heart and the soul and helps one regain all its strength and the lost joy.
The road to recuperation is rather tedious ,but it does exist...and happiness comes.
From quarters stable,long standing and unconditional.
One needs to cleanse one's insides good and proper to let the rays of shimmering sunlight...full of life, vigor,happiness and joy envelope one's being all over again....and let life blossom and celebrate the sheer delight of living...sans bitternesses and the messy,lurking shadows of the past.
One has to learn to be a phoenix ,so as to rise and shine:-)

How to know if you're really in love...?

TO BE IN LOVE

How does one know,one is in love...

How does one unravel something so intriguing,which has remained the most difficult crossword puzzle to solve?

One must be in love....
* when one gets incoherent in speech,but amazing in describing vividly the dreams seen last night...
* when one checks the sms's...missed calls,each call,with same hope,anxiety and restlessness...
* when one jumps and almost hits the roof,when THE CALL or the SMS comes:-))))
* When one tries to sound extremely detached,so as to make sure,no wrong signals are sent....
* when one smiles foolishly,sheepishly in reality,while attending the call:-)))
* when one doesn't mind being melodramatic and a little over the top in conversations...
* when one doesn't like harshnesses,loudnesses and becomes all tender and soft...in conduct...
* when one starts enjoying musicals,mushy romantic movies,even tragedies,which makes one cry buckets...
* when one doesn't want to meet boisterous, inquiring friends and wants to be left alone...
* when one starts loving solitude so as to discuss innumerable topics with the self...

* when one experiences deja vu,through all the romantics works,books,movies,songs etc etc...
* when one starts enjoying staring at the star laden sky and enchanting moon...
* when one miraculously becomes a poet/poetess.. .
* when one starts admiring ones own reflection in the mirror...
* when the upkeep of one's looks,fitness,and styles becomes important...
* the loners and the unrequited variety become modern day 'devdas' and 'chandramukhi' too:-))))
* when food becomes a compulsion and sleep becomes an alien concept...
* if sleep comes,it becomes an escape route to such romantic and sweet anecdotes,with a promise of  fulfillment one day...some day..
* when random sighs escape one's face and heart,all the time...unknowingly...
* when the stomach experiences rush of butterflies in the pit....
* when one can hear the tender lilt of a violin and the strumming of guitars...flush of the breezy flute and      Kenny G with his clarinet....enthralling the pained heart...
* when rain water seems to drench the very soul within and one wishes to lose one's everything at that moment...in terms of soul,heart and the self....
* when one wants to hug those around,and tell them those three lovely words,which keep springing on the lips...
* when one fantasizes to experience the tingling in the spine one day,due to the proximity of THE ONE....
* when one can't just stop and finds thousands of reasons to love...endlessly,selflessly,unconditionally...
* when a voice can make one blush and blush and blush some more....
* when one says those three magical,with softest of whisper,for THE ONE all alone....
ONE SURE IS IN LOVE!

MEMORIES.

Memories...as we recollect them...may not remain true to the context and the reference.
We are such emotionally charged beings,we see what we want to see,and imagine a lot many things,as we would have liked them to be.
And after this innocent compromise with the truth,we find solace in them...most comfortingly.
Cause we are such hopelessly sentimental and sensitive beings.
And I find nothing criminal in that.
Cause we have an inbuilt mechanism to treasure the pleasant,the beautiful and the tender and discard the rest.
And imagination is one freedom none can ever be denied of...or robbed off.
So let us FEEL FREE ... FEEL NOSTALGIC ... we deserves it all:-)

DELHI BELLY...AAMIR's REAL TIME CINEMATIC ENDEAVOUR...

Predictable is always boring.
Any creative endeavor ALWAYS has it's roots firmly planted in realism.
Flights of fancy are also an exaggerated version of real time experiences.
Having said that,I must confess Delhi Belly comes across as unpalatable for those who perceive life as they see around their own comfort zone.
It is has a story line which is completely believable.
Characters which are every day kinds...though they needn't be the replicas of one's next door neighbors.
The profanities...the portrayals...the experiences,all in isolation,as well as threaded in the plot are realistic.
We have always been given dreams...candy-like love parables...ideal families and intense dramas in the name of entertaining and serious cinema,both.
Aamir Khan,I feel,has managed to introduce a new genre of 'in the face' cinema...with it's own share of flaws and hiccups,which are bound to be there,given the fact that this attempt is a first of it's kind.
I would't label it as a cinema with any great social message...or an inspiring saga...but it happens.
It all happens...so it was portrayed.
And if one sees life along with ground realities...it can be worse.

Mirror...

A face is worth a thousand words...we have heard this one oft in various avtaars...and so is the case with me too!
When I look at myself I see layers,I see moments,I see all of my loved ones and I see an honest image,reflecting back so much of beauty...it is intriguing.
Mirror is not a very close pal of mine...but it is an honest well wisher for sure.
And it has never failed me...ever.
Napoleon Bonaparte said... "Un bon croquis vaut mieux qu'un long discours,"...:-)

tulips...

dense fog blurs the winter morn,
when tulips explode into my being...
they are so devastatingly red...
they burn into my hands...
and I can feel their breathings,
deep and pulsating...
floating inwards,towards my blood,
splashing as trails of fire...
lapping up the wounds...
these red blessings...
the dew tastes like the sea,
which suffuses my being,
making a cosmos of a blooming love.

maple...

There is enough warmth
To ward off the cold wind
Brushing past the maple leaves
Red,gold,grey and fiery
Withering,swaying and dipping
On the soft melody of autumn breeze
These swirls of deep hues
Destined to succumb in beauty
Float in the breathing breeze
Gracing their end with elegant ease
As an ode to the mother nature
Loving each kiss of death sans a crease
Tug at the heart strings
Tucked in the rusty fall of mane
Humble the ground with an aura sublime...

a rose...

a rose so delicate
pristine and pure
spreads it's warmth
and graceful beauty

swaying in the breeze
to suffuse vibrant colors
in each being's senses
like an inspiration

the whispering blooms
with petals strong
breathe freshness
in the tender threads

which tie us together
sans any motives
with smiles all around
like the subtle fragrance...

chocolate..

Don't eat so many of them
your sparkling set of chewers will weaken
Don't love them over love
cause you need someone to bring them
when life was filled with all
the sacred pearls of wisdom
my heart wanted to cry out
I know we need the chewers
and a heart only needs love
both may hurt at some time
but a little of the cocoa riche' luxury
won't hurt wither or bite.

An ode...

In the lonesome nights
when the twinkling gleam
cascaded through the shadowy flairs
it lit your face,and you smiled
I reached out and gently cradled you
pushing my moist face
in your comforting embrace
enveloping me like a warm blanket of care
each wakeful night and each dreamy day
was spent this very same way
till
one day,you fell apart
your hemming undone
you lay listless and astray
you looked so disturbingly at peace
it broke my heart to smithereens
and I wept myself to sleep
and
that night,Ma sneaked you out
sewed you well and fine
the next morn I saw you
perched on my window pane
inviting each chirping bird
braving each tendril of your mane
a glint reached my eye
and I heaved a sigh
Teddyzooz
life was never the same without you.
:-)

a kiss..

the gentle wind intertwines
with blossoms of care and bliss
love finds ways to reach
the innocence in each heart
a tender calming touch
a whispered loving word
a soothing endearing kiss
of warmth and a reassurance
surrounds and holds tenderly
and would eternally be
if one lets the child within,be...

Love...

A salutation to the entity,which reflects in such myriad hues...
a butterfly,gently perched on a flower,for it's sweet nectar,
that to me is LOVE.

Ma...

like the summer breeze,which brings in
the whiffs of marigold,roses and the faint incense
the sights,sound and the vision
remain etched on my mindscape
how gently you would scoop me in your arms
as I would nuzzle in your long neck and fragrant chignon
the sparkling,starched and crisp six yards of elegance
sashayed around you so gracefully
and that comforting,calming smile on petals of your lips
cascading down from the fish shaped eyes
the slender tapering artistic fingers
ruefully tucking the stubborn locks behind the pear shaped ears
while narrating a tale of nymphs,fairies and wonders
just like the ethereal hint of a presence you were to me
the enveloping hug of your blissful lap
and watching your lotus feet as they went around the floors of time
the trance like enigma that you were
was understood by me
when innocence gave way to experience,
and the light of ignorance was replaced by the darkness of reason
MA,you are no dream,you are my blessed reality.

...

Let the gentle breeze of tenderness,rest on your being,
at times,what is felt,is much more than what is seen...

cherish..

There are times,when I am left transfixed...by the sheer beauty and brilliance of human endurance and patience.
When I see a mother running after her toddler,to make sure the little one eats a bite or two.
When I see a grown up daughter comb out the tangles of her mother's tousled hair.
When I see a teenager,in the queue of the ticket counter of a Rock Show,sweating it out for a cause bigger than the Nuclear threat;-)
When I watch a street urchin,holding fast to the booty of the day,and checking,and re-checking it to confirm,it's still there.....
....the list is endless...so is the intrigue of it all.
I can never have enough of such beauties...and I smile at these tiny weenie happinesses,which come across us,each day!
All we need to do is ... stop and cherish.

...

the journey from a seed to the plant,and it's yield
the transformation of the mysterious elements of life
with bondings of rain,sun and the wind
from one land to the other
beyond the barricades
nurtures like hope
which has no color,no creed,no gender,no race and no status
feeds the law makers
and the law breakers
and triggers the whole laying down of the laws
the division of land
of hearts and of the bondings
the mysteries of the seed,to the plant and the yield
still remains unyielding.

...

Life offers choices.
Either to en mass limitless predictability...to lose oneself amongst the facelessness of being 'one of them'...and do what others do.
Or,to listen to one's heart and follow the less treaded,oft dreaded path of sharing the intimate,the personal,the passionate ... raw,unplugged...and enjoy the thrill of being unpredictable.
To me,that is trend-setting,exciting and challenging an experience,which edges me to go that extra mile.
How far can I go?
For someone as passionate about each facet of life as me...
I just wouldn't know...:-)

Belief..

Don't hinder and disrupt the frolicking,calm and serene river in the wilds.
Don't try and bring method to it's madness.
Once forced,barricaded and maneuvered,
it would force it's way through it all,
and break all the seemingly impossible hurdles,
with added determination.
Such is the power of conviction.

FOUR LEAF CLOVER..

the red flecks embolden as they reach the soul,
and from the depth rises the beauty pristine,
of hope cause there is life,
of faith cause we believe,
of love cause we blossom,
of luck cause we are charmed,
four leaf clover embraces the human beliefs,
and remains the charm,which charms naturally.

silence..

Silence is restraint...
...is submission...
...is a statement...
...is an epic...
...is pregnant...
...is seething...
...is comforting...
...is mistaken to be a weakness...
...is an armor of a dignified stance...
...an impetus to sponge in,wordlessly...
silence for me...has been a potent ally...someone,who has a palpable presence,well defined and defining...decisive,gracefully.

...

The intrigues of creation...
of it's nadirs and zeniths...
of it's inception and it's destruction..
.it's warmth and it's fierceness...
all beckon us time and again to know...to ask..to unravel.
All that lies hidden,
that lies unexplored,
where human sensibilities fear to tread...
Let us not forget...
if there is a question,there has to be an answer to it.
Even if we refuse to face the truth...it is out there!!

...

A Morning never complains,
it spreads bright sun rays,
and gives us another day,
to be thankful,to be joyful,
and most of all...
... a chance to love life,
all over again.
That sure makes a morning,
the most beautiful an experience.
Hope your morn was all this,
and the day is much more:-)

The unsaid...

There are quite a few inexplicable conflicts around us in the world...and within our beings too.
Some are best left unanswered...some can be found a cure for.
Alas...the ones within our beings are most neglected.
Cause less of us,the mortals,would be courageous to face,what lies deep down inside.
And those who do...find their personal share of 'nirvana' /salvation...and the road to the divine semblance.

CONCEPTS ... AS I SEE THEM

Selflessness and thoughtfulness is needed to achieve MOKSHA or NIRVANA...in our own humble ways.

Moksha is liberation of the soul from the cycle of birth and death...a sort of spiritual release.(Hinduism)

Nirvana is attaining freedom from lust,hatred,delusion...to achieve disinterested wisdom and compassion.

It is the ideal condition of rest,stability,joy and harmony.(Buddhism).

Maya,as per it's derivation signifies..."that",which is "not".

In simple terms...an illusion...which we as mortals chase,incessantly.

Just like a Matrix field,...jo hai bhi,aur nahi bhi(which seemingly is,but in reality,isn't...here reality is debatable an issue).

Lord Krishna,while rendering Gitopadesha to Arjuna,on the battlefield of Mahabharta,described the mirage...myth...of bondings...of possessions...of relationships...of desires and all such elements,which rob us off our bravado and make us weak and helpless.

Maya,when understood...denied...and won over,with sheer intrinsic will power and realization,helps us attain Nirvana...and Moksha...both.

If understood with due simplicity,they simplify life to a great extent.

WINDS OF TIME...

the carcasses of dreams

lie strewn about the floors of the shattered heart...

nothingness could be so wide and gaping

it's like a zilch,sans a prefix...

if only one could obliterate

the winds of time teasing a wounded soul...

the dead of love and war

are swallowed by the dust of time...

One just hope,the smithereens inside...

hold on,in this ruthless tornado of life...

WINDSWEPT...

O ye,the morning breeze,

gather thy sails...and envelope me,

none chains,restrict or maneuver thee...

enslaved by thy wistful contemptuous nonchalance...

I dare thy flights which surge ahead of semblance...

draw barricades,like the moths on the lonely flame...

my eyes brim with the angst of being windswept...

blink,I shall not,cause a moment is a lifetime.

A SALUTATION TO WOMANHOOD.

From subservience and subjugation for conservative norms,

towards an emergence,which takes the world by a storm...

That is the woman of today.

From denials and dictats uncompromising and pre-defined,

towards breaking and bending the rules,firmly re-defined...

That is the woman of today.

From quiet and docile ways of helpless submissions,

towards charming,subtle grace of a dignified presence...

That is the woman of today.

Proud to be one such woman,

suitably armored with self belief,and uncompromising convictions...

I salute the spirit of womanhood this day!

WHO AM I...

I sit here,in the office chair,watching the monitor...

pondering over this 'seemingly' direct quest of who am I...

how helpless I am,with no answer to share...

all I can offer,are some clues,cross my heart and hope to die...

one would have to trace the path of the woods behind my abode..

deep,dark,mysterious and blessed with silences to decode...

they know my morning thoughts,as good as the trees...

this very first clue would help one know,the real me...

the next clue would take one,all the way to the beach...

to the waves,the sand,the sun and the horizon out of reach...

the reflections and the streaks of surf to and fro...

know about my smiles and the raising of my brows...

finally,the last clue would take one to my home...

My parents ,my siblings and the loving bonds....

words won't be of much use there,silence treads slow..

the eyes would speak and reveal,all that one needs to know...

the birds I watched,as a child, up above in the sky...

the plants who heard me,and answered all my whys...

as my eyes would wander in the oblivion,to see the time fly...

I become all those,who stood by me...never letting my eyes cry...

AN ODE TO SILENCE

unmoving untold

beguiling and bold

in the depths of my meandering drifts

lie the silence of times.

unmoving with permanence

undeterred with resonance

in the unshed tears of my heavy heart

lie the silence of times.

unmoving and brilliant

surreal and insistent

in the quest of the kaafir within

lie the silence of times.

unmoving yet increasing

hazy,misty and fading

in the crimson light of my throbbing veins

lie the silence of times.

love...

Love ,I often say,is the most used...misused...and abused a word.

It is less done...more claimed.

And due to this very over usage and over exposure of it's subtleties...love has become like a buffoon or a puppet on a string,played around by one and all...without actually understanding it's implications...depth and beauty.

Love has dimensions and a reach,which goes beyond the expected horizons...it is an entity,which dawns in silence...like a butterfly on the most fragrant a flower...

It just can't be rushed,hurried or forced.

But love is one entity,an all encompassing ,omnipresent,omnipotent presence,which needs to be felt...and basked in the glory of...instead of compartmentalizing it...like a product of this materialistic world.

THE BALANCING ACT

you pushed me to the threshold of my endurance

where pain became my penance and my retribution

and as I argued by the law of averages

my eyes refused to flutter

cause pleasure was to be my laurel

my sufferance hollered.

the loop of desires shoved the pain through the eyes

piercing deep into the heart

for fulfillment long longed

heralding the onset of pleasures

enveloping with such comforting peace

till a new rush of pleasures goads

the more suppressed more strong they grow

for satiety.

alas,pain remains,where desires don't

as the screaming vacuum in the absence of the catalyst.

DID I...

Did I reach you...

I shut my eyes tight,when the rains splashed me with nostalgia,

lest a memory slips.

Did you hear me...

I forced each scream down my throat,when your thoughts hit my temples,

lest a sound breathes.

Did the sting reach your eyes...

I let my eyes burn with unshed torrents,letting them writhe in pain,

lest a tear escapes.

Did you feel a vibe...

I let my heart,reach my mouth,with emotions suppressed and unspoken,

lest the intensity withers.

Do I exist for you...

I shroud my being with cacophonous dissonance,camouflaging my silences,

lest a sigh flees.